A Beloved Pearl Necklace

And now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we could ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (Ephesians 3:20)

Have you ever heard something so many times that it starts to lose it's effect? Did you ever play this game? My sister and I used to say a word over and over and over and over again until it didn't make any sense anymore. Try it. Once you say a word - any word - enough times you're like...what am I saying? What does that even mean?! I think we do that with other things, too. Like the advice that our mothers give us. You know, that SAME piece of advice that you get whether you just don't know what to do in a certain situation or someone has broken your heart. We hear it and it's like, "Thanks mom" and you're genuinely appreciative for her concern, but at the same time, you're not all about running out and doing exactly what she just said. And any Christian can tell you John 3:16. "For God so loved the world..." yeah, yeah, we just finish it on our own without really thinking about it. I tend to do that more and more. In a way I honestly feel cool and like I'm somehow growing when I can quote scripture. I will be the FIRST person to admit that I don't know it like a lot of people do. I have friends who can tell you exactly when something happened, what else was happening in the time period, who they're brothers and sisters were and what the law said about it at that time. And then there's me. I get into a conversation where I think I could genuinely contribute something helpful but instead, thanks to my lack of memorized passages, I'm literally like, "Yeah...there's a verse somewhere that says something about...like...um...I think Jesus was involved somehow..." *crap* And that's about all I get out. I seriously rejoice in those moments when I can not only recall what I am thinking, but also get it out of my mouth in a half coherent manner. I had one of those moments today.

Naeem gives us the same benediction every Sunday and well, after 2 times a week for a few months, you start to just remember it. And the last couple of Sundays I've noticed myself either thinking through or mouthing along with him as he said it. And then this morning, I was like [enter hallelujah chorus here] - WAIT! I'm actually HEARING this! "God can do more than all we could ask or imagine..." God can do more than we can imagine?! Are you sure about this, Lord? Because I have a REALLY active imagination! I tend to figure out surprises, I have been known to anticipate things as a bigger deal than they actually turn out to be and I have big dreams for myself. BIG. But God knows. And He can do it. More than I could ask or imagine? Wow. That's some big God. I just tend to forget that and try to compartmentalize Him.

This means big and happy things for me. For example, I thought I had the perfect man before. He was perfect for me and everyone we met told us how perfect we were together. On my bad days, he was there for me. On his bad days, I was there for him. He left off where I started and I could tell what he was thinking before he said it out loud. People told us how God was going to use us in a big way to reach the world. We were going to be such a powerful Christian couple and effect the lives of THOUSANDS of people. Okay, so he dreamed big, too. So much that we were going to start "Big God Church." :) But then God showed me that this wasn't actually that perfect person that I thought he was. Not that he did anything wrong, but God just has other things in store for me. I've already done things and reached people that I never would've had the opportunity to do if I would've done what I thought was best instead of listening to God's dreams. And if I can dream of that and then some (because trust me, I've got high expectations and big hopes for myself), then I can only imagine what God has in store.

Now, before I get anybody too riled up, I know that there are still holds I have to let go of. Using this same situation (because it's the first one that comes to mind and - quite frankly - one that I know a lot of my friends are dealing with), that doesn't mean that I can just dream up my perfect situation or see something that looks promising and be like, "That's mine. God dreamed it for me." I still have to let go of my dreams and my plans for my life. It's kind of a funny situation where I have to let go of the great things that I want for my life so that God can deliver something even better, but that's just how it works.

At the risk of making this blog so long that no one will actually read it, I have a story. It's one that my dear friend Lisa Wilcoski shared with us at a women's retreat that I went to in college. Here's the short version: There was a little girl who loved her daddy very much. And every day when he came home from work, she would run to meet him at the door and wrap herself around his legs and tell him how much she loved him. One day he came home with a gift for the little girl. It wasn't anything too fancy, just a little plastic necklace resembling pearls. She didn't care that it didn't cost him much or that the white coating easily chipped off the small beads when she played with it because it was a gift from her daddy and he had given it to her because he loved her. The next day when he came home from work, she again met him at the door and wrapped her arms around him and told him that she loved him. She expressed her sincere appreciation for her gift and told him how much she loved it. This happened day after day and she always greeted him with the necklace still on. Then one day, when her daddy came home from work, he asked the little girl to give the necklace back. "No, Daddy!" she cried. It was her necklace and she loved it. It had been a gift to her. How dare he want to take it back? Day after day again, he came home and asked her if she loved him and asked for the necklace back. He didn't have any reasons, he just asked for her to give it up. Day after day she fought with him and was upset about losing her little plastic necklace. Then one day, she grew tired of fighting. She saw how it was changing the way she ran to her daddy every day and, brokenhearted and with tears in her eyes, when he asked for the necklace, she gave it back to him. And when she did, he pulled out a new necklace, made of real pearls. He said, "I've had this for you for so long, but I had to wait for you to let go of your plastic pearls before I could give you the real ones." I had to wait for you to let go of what you thought was so wonderful so that I could give you something so much better.

God has big things in plan for us and He wants us to dream big for ourselves so that He can deliver even more than we could've ever hoped for. But we have to be willing to let go of what we think is best in order for Him to provide that unbelievable gift, the one that will blow our minds and all that we ever imagined.