Keep the Change

I know that change is good. It's an inevitable part of life that can wreak havoc if we don't accept it and roll with the punches. But that doesn't mean that it's an easy process.

As I mentioned in my last entry, last week I had the absolute pleasure of going back to Illinois to be with my friend Lisa as she finalized all the preparation for her wedding. I stayed at her house, we ordered pizza, watched movies...and ran around doing last minute errands. Jody and Bonnie came a few days later and the four of us “Golden Girls” were back together again. Lisa had two other friends who also stayed with us for the week and it was just the best group of girls that could possibly have been together. We all got along. We bonded. We laughed. (Oh, did we laugh!) We made table decorations and name cards. We printed programs and decorated the church. We dropped off candles and picked up gifts. We went out to eat. We had a luau. And Lisa's bachelorette party. We got pedicures with little pink flowers to match our dresses. We went to the tailor to get our dresses fitted...and back the next day to get them fitted again when mine was too small. And as we were doing all of this preparation, we knew what it was for. It was all for Lisa and Tony, to celebrate the beginning of their new lives together. We could not have been happier.

But it didn't really sink in until it was almost over. Before the rehearsal, we were at the church decorating and setting up chairs. All was well and good until the pianist came in to sound check. He started playing that stupid song that Lisa would walk down to and I got all teary eyed. I had to cover my ears in that “I can’t hear you” kind of way and laugh when I looked around and saw that the other girls were tearing up, too. After that, I was pretty much done for. We had the rehearsal and all was well and good. We went to Aurelio's for dinner and Lisa and Tony thanked everyone for coming. Lisa read a poem about friendship and when her voice shook, the tears came back. Then we got our gifts (the matching jewelry that we'd all already seen at one point or another) and the surprise scrapbooks that Lisa had made for her bridesmaids, each a little different with pictures of us and her together. Then it hit me. Lisa is getting married. Things will never be exactly the same.

Flying back the day after the wedding was the worst. Usually when I come back to Charlotte, I am SO excited. I love being here. I know this is where God wants me. And I know that there are people here who really love me. But for some reason, coming back this time was different. I just wasn't ready. Driving to the airport, seeing the Chicago skyline out the window made me miss the many times that I had played downtown. Flying out of O'Hare, seeing the city below me felt like a harsh reality that I was leaving once again. I had to restrain myself from actually putting my palm up to the window like they do in movies. And the tears would not be held in. As I tend to do when I'm sad, I called my parents after I landed. And as I talked to my daddy about all that I was feeling...the change...the loss I felt...the sadness for things that used to be...he reminded me of something very important. "There are good times ahead."

I am very much a "wear my heart on my sleeve" kinda gal. If I'm happy, if I'm sad, if I'm excited, if I'm let down...these are not easy things for me to hide. But I also don't believe that I need to. I'm a firm believer of tears. :) The day I came back was very out of character for me (a close friend of mine even said that it was depressing!) because I was just sad and dealing with all that came with this major change. We're growing up. People move on and I should know this. I've moved enough times that Charlotte is my 9th city to live in. It would be a lie to say that every place I 've lived proved to better than the last, but for the most part, I can see why the major changes had to happen. I wouldn't be in leadership with Mosaic if I didn't follow God's calling to Charlotte. I wouldn't be in Charlotte if I hadn't decided to come with Jody. I wouldn't have met Jody if I hadn't gone to ISU. I wouldn't have gone to ISU if we hadn't left Michigan and moved to Illinois when I was 15...and on and on.

Why am I telling you all of this? Mostly because I can. That's my name at the top of this blog. :) But also, I'm learning something. (Something new every day it seems!) And I think it's something that a lot of us could stand to be reminded of...especially as we will soon be transitioning back into full force at Mosaic. New people will be coming around. Small groups will be starting. We're starting a new service at a new location. And those are all a formula for things to be shaken up and done differently. And we need to accept that. Because where would we be if Naeem and his team hadn't decided to move up here from Charleston? If they hadn't accepted that major change, none of us would be part of this amazing movement that is taking Charlotte by storm. Where would we be if we didn't accept change once things were put in place? Certainly not reaching more people with a 3rd service...we'd still be sitting in the AMC with one service, not growing. Not reaching our full potential.

Like everything else in life, the dynamics of "The Golden Girls" might be changing...husbands and babies coming in...more miles between us. But if we embrace these major changes, it can only make things better. There are good times ahead.